balance.

Sunday nights are always really sad times for me. I mourn over the end of the weekend. This one especially, because it went by soso fast. Probably because I was sick, making all of Friday and part of Saturday a blur. I wish I would hurry up and get better. I'm afraid Sterling doesn't want to marry me as much now that he's stuck constantly hearing my blow my loud and nasty nose every ten minutes. Anyway, this weekend was less than productive. And now I have 3 exams in the next 3 days. Nutrition and Chemistry tomorrow, Anatomy on Wednesday.

I feel a bit overwhelmed lately. So much school and so much church, with a good deal of working and wedding planning thrown in, as well as trying to maintain relationships with everyone. I don't think I've had a real conversation with my mom for over a week, and when I ran into my friend Sara today, I realized I hadn't even talked to her in almost two weeks. And the most I've talked to any of my bridesmaids this past week was over a few text messages.

And I feel bad for saying it, but church-related things are definitely falling to the wayside. The thing about being a Mormon though, I'm learning, is that it's hard to brush off the church. Which is good I think, because that's kind of how you need to be with me sometimes. I need people to be pushy and persistent with me or else I'll just forget about things if I'm busy. So I've been having my new-member meetings every Wednesday night. I have an Institute class every Tuesday night. I met with a couple of good guys in the bishopric last week for a lesson, which was nice. One of them pulled me aside today at church and told me the bishop wanted to know if I'll help with the planning of activities for our ward. I said yes. Looks like I'll have to start going to FHE every Monday night now. Today I was also asked if I wanted to be a visiting teacher. I said yes.

Yes, sometimes I get a little annoyed with how much participation is expected of me. But I also know that once I'm actually there doing things, I enjoy it. I meet such great people, like the wife of the bishop's counselor who sat down next to me and told me that her husband had such nice things to say about me after I met with him, and that if Sterling and I ever need anything, don't hesitate to call her. Or the bishop of the other ward who seemed so genuinely excited when he found out that we were engaged at a picnic a few weeks ago. Or any of the amazing sister missionaries I've met, who have been so incredibly sweet and welcoming to me.

I know it's worth it and I always feel best when I am involved with the church. I just wish it wasn't so hard balancing everything right now. I also know that I shouldn't be complaining so much when a good deal of my spare time is spent cuddled up on the couch with that fiance of mine watching The Office (we've made it to the 6th season finally!) when I should be studying or calling my mom or best friends. I can't help it, I'm overly indulgent when it comes to things like that. I can't turn down cuddling, ever.

But now my first exam of the string is in 10 hours, and I need to fit in studying, sleeping, and probably some more Office before that gets here.  Knowing me, I'll probably only accomplish the Office part and maybe a bit of sleep.