Valentine's

Last Thursday was our third Valentine's Day together! And our first with the little lovebug :)  Sterling had 18 roses delivered to me. I've never had flowers delivered to my door before! For his gift, he got to get an extra ounce of silver this month (he's on a silver collecting kick, he usually gets one ounce a month to build his stash), plus a couple little treats, too. Brynleigh already had some V-Day outfits, but they were all too big on her so I had to buy a new one so she could be festive :) Then I picked up some curry from our favorite Thai place in IF and got a Redbox. It was a nice little V-Day in!

We were supposed to start packing up the apartment this weekend. I can't really pack during the week when Sterling's at work because a certain little girl demands on being held 24/7, so packing can really only be done when Sterling is home to watch her. This left us with two weekends to pack, which was already a little stressful of a timeline. On Friday, we tried to find some boxes behind the stores here in Shelley (we forgot when we were up in IF), but that produced nothing. We said we'd search IF on Saturday, but that never happened. SO, the weekend came and went and there's still not a single thing packed. Whoops. Now we're left to packing up the entire place next weekend, because we're moving the Friday after. Fun, right?

Brynleigh had another weight check at the doctor's today. She's up to 8 lbs 9.5 oz! Up from 8-1 last Monday. She's a little chunker! But we're so glad she's finally healthy and gaining weight. She has to get her shots and 2 month checkup in two weeks now, but we'll be moved by then so I need to hurry and find her a new pediatrician in Preston or Pocatello or somewhere.

Anyway, we really aren't all that interesting right now, so I'll just close with some pictures!

Valentine's outfit!

My pretty roses :)

yawns!

My attempt at catching her smiling.

I was trying to get ready this morning and she was throwing a fit and didn't want to be put down. My solution? Propping up a bottle for her and letting the Friends DVD intro play over and over (she loves TV, btw). It worked!

Trying to get a picture with her smiling. This was the closest we got.

This is how she sleeps in the carseat.We try and try to get her to keep her neck straight but she won't. So we get worried strangers thinking we're bad parents wherever we go haha.

First Smiles & First Houses

My baby smiled her first real smiles this morning. Oh, melt my heart! Last night, I probably spent close to an hour making faces at her, trying to get her to smile. We got close, but not quite. Then this morning when I laid her on our bed and was talking to her, she started giving me this big grins! So we spent some time smiling at each other while I snapped away with the camera. Now, excuse me while I be a new mom and post a dozen nearly-identical shots ;)

"Kay, Mom, I'm done now."

 

 

 

Ahh, I just love that little face. Anyway, she is doing great! She's finally gaining weight, and a lot of it at that! Between her weekly weight check and meeting with the doctor about her acid reflux (a Friday to Monday) she went from 7 lbs 5 oz to 7 lbs 9 oz. Then we went back a week later to see the doctor to check if her reflux meds were working (that was this Monday), and she was up to 8 lbs 1 oz! So she's gaining more than an ounce a day, which is great. And we're not even giving her that much formula lately, she's mainly breastfeeding. We just give her maybe three 2-3oz bottles of formula a day to supplement her, usually mainly when we're out running errands or something (I can't bring myself to do the whole public BF thing. I see these women with these cute nursing covers, but I just don't think I'm coordinated enough. I'm sure I'd end up flashing some poor, innocent people while trying to mop up the milk Brynleigh thinks is fun to spit out down my stomach every single time.) and at night so she'll stay fuller longer, then I'll nurse her to sleep. We think her meds are helping her acid reflux, though now she's into a phase where she has a super fussy time every evening. Fun stuff, I tell you.

Aaaaand, we bought a house! Well, we haven't closed on it quite yet, but everything is all sorted out and taken care of, so we feel pretty darn safe calling it ours now. A couple of months ago, Stoddard Farms asked Sterling if he'd want to come back and work for them. So we went down to Grace, talked it over with them, and decided that's what we want to do. So we started frantically looking for a house to buy (since there's nothing to rent in that town). We fell in love with one, then it sold before we even put in an offer. Then we actually put in an offer on another one, but we didn't get that house. Then we started freaking out a bit because there wasn't really anything left in Grace that wasn't either a shack or double our budget. Then we heard about a house that wasn't listed yet, and it sounded great and we got super excited, thinking we found our new home. Buuut, we went and looked at it and it was awful. Great potential, but currently awful and would be until we spent a looong time renovating. So we felt super defeated and stressed (this was only like 2 weeks ago, btw) because we needed to find a place ASAP but there was literally nothing else.

 THEN my wonderful father-in-law remembered that there's this elderly couple in the ward that had been thinking for quite awhile they wanted to move down to Utah to be closer to their kids, but there house wasn't even for sale or anything. So he called them up and asked if they wanted to sell their house to us (it sure helps having a bishop dad who knows everyone in town). They said they were interested and let us come over to check the place out. So we did, and we made them an offer and they accepted it right then and there. We should be closed by the 1st of March, though we told the couple they could take until the 15th to move out if they needed to. We have to be out of our apartment on the 1st, so it looks like we'll be staying in Sterling's parent's house for a little bit.

I'm super excited to have a house we own and can do whatever we want to! It's a nice house, but it definitely needs some updating. The living room has orange shag carpet, so Sterling promised me that we can get that replaced the moment we move in. And there's lots of wallpaper, so I'm planning on doing some serious painting. There's a bunch of things that need updating, but everything is nice and clean, so it's definitely liveable for now and we'll just do little projects along the way. We don't have any pictures of the house yet, so those will have to wait until we move in. It has 2 bedrooms plus a big loft, 2 bathrooms, a living room & family room, and a really nice mudroom that used to be the garage. So since there's only 2 real bedrooms, this obviously isn't a forever home for us. We plan on it being a starter home for now, then once more kids start coming along we'll have to upgrade to a bigger house.

Anyway, that's about it for now. Here are a few more pictures!

Waiting for Dad at the dentist. She falls asleep in the weirdest positions!

Church outfit!

Nappin with Mom.

One month!

My baby is one month old tomorrow! And already everyday I get a little sad thinking about how fast she is growing up. It's crazy! She's still a tiny little girl, but she seems so much different than that little newborn we brought home! She has a little personality now and all of these facial expressions and mannerisms and whatnot that she didn't have when she was brand new.

So let's reflect on the past month of new parenthood! Man, it is a crazy thing. Obviously, you know you're life is going to change when you have a baby, but you can't ever really comprehend just how it is.

We were in the hospital for a few days after she was born, then when we came home my parents were here visiting for the week. Having a newborn is so stressful at first! You suddenly have this little person who you know a little bit, but at the same time she's a stranger who you have to learn everything about. I was pretty confident in my abilities to take care of a baby, but it was still so nice to have my parents here to help those first few days while we got situated.

Then once my parents left, Sterling also had to go back to work. So I was alone with Brynleigh for the first time! That first week of being a stay-at-home momma was a blur of trying to clean the house while she was asleep (that never worked too well), attempting to do normal things like shower (this resulted in me leaning out of the shower, dripping wet, every 30 seconds when she started crying) and apply makeup (this was actually successful, but was done with one hand while holding Bryn in the other), and trying to figure out things like breastfeeding.

Oh, breastfeeding. Nobody tells new moms-to-be how INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE it is. Like, wow. I knew it would hurt some at first, but I had no idea it would make the first two and a half weeks of being a mom a living helllll, both physically and emotionally. First, we had trouble in the hospital with Brynnie latching on. We saw the lactation specialist probably at least 6 times. Then my milk was taking too long to come in, so the doctor told me I needed to supplement with formula. I actually cried when they told me this, because I wanted to exclusively breastfeed my baby so she was as healthy as possible and felt like a failure as a mother.

By the time we got to come home, I was trying to feed baby with a cracked, bleeding, engorged mess (sorry for the icky details). I couldn't talk through the first 30 seconds of each feeding because I was reeling from the pain. It was awful. And she wanted to eat constantly, so that meant constant pain. I really didn't believe that it would ever get better. I seriously considered switching to entirely formula feeding. It was a painful, stressful mess. But we continued, and by week 3, it was suddenly a million times better. And now it's a breeze! But yeah, all you future moms should consider yourselves warned. Breastfeeding sucks at first.

Another issue we encountered was Brynleigh's weight. Like I said before, while in the hospital Brynleigh lost too much weight (I think a whole pound? She was 7 lbs 7 oz at birth, and I think she got down to 6 lbs 6 oz? I was a little emotional and didn't catch the exact numbers) so we were told we had to supplement with formula. After we were home for a few days, my milk was in so I stopped using formula and just gave her breastmilk. When we went to the doctor for her 1 week check-up, she still wasn't gaining weight so we were told to keep supplementing formula along with breastfeeding. And now, at 4 weeks old, she still isn't up to her birth weight (she's currently 7 lbs 5 oz). We've been having to go in for weekly weight checks, and at her last one the nurse told us we needed to make an appointment to see the doctor to have Bryn checked for acid reflux. So we're going in tomorrow for that. I think she has either reflux or a sensitivity to something in her formula. They switched her to a formula to reduce spit up last week, but I don't see it working. Anyway, hopefully we can get something figured out tomorrow. I hate seeing my little girl so fussy and gassy and not gaining weight!

Other than all that, things are going great. We're getting into the swing of things and figuring this whole parenting thing out. We had family pictures and newborn pictures done last week (see a sneak peek below), and should have all those pictures back sometime this coming week. I'm super excited. She's such a cute, funny little girl. She has the best expressions--many of them are 'old man faces' so we've nicknamed her Wilbert (a fitting old man name). She is a super cuddly baby, she has to be held constantly. She won't sleep alone, so she's in Mom & Dad's bed every night (much to the dismay of my in-laws :), and yes we practice safe co-sleeping. She hates the Moby but loves the new Infantino carrier I bought. She also hates baths, which I'm hoping she grows out of soon!

 As for me, I'm pretty much all healed up and doing good. I took the tape off of my c-section incision today and it looks pretty good. Still a little tender and I think I have some nerve damage on one side, but nothing bad. I lost all but 5 pounds of my baby weight in the first 2 weeks after she was born because I accidentally starved myself (I was too stressed and busy taking care of Brynleigh that I just didn't make time to eat). But I realized that was really affecting my milk supply so I've made it a point to be sure to eat more and now those last 5 pounds haven't budged much (I'd like to think that they've settled into my chest, haha).  I think that's a good enough update for now, so onto some pictures!

Yawns!

Our first time going to church!

Daddy testing out our new carrier. Cute little Brynnie eyes poking out :)

Little roller girl

Two posts in one day, wow, I know! This is just a quick one though.

Brynleigh is a big fan of rolling over on her side lately. Today, I was trying to change her, and whenever I let go of her she would roll right over and curl up. Someone didn't want a new diaper apparently!

We'd start out like this...

 

 

Then Mom's not looking! Roll! Roll!

 

 

 

Silly girl. She's too cute :)

Brynleigh Grace Stoddard

Yes, I finally have a baby! Here is her (long-winded) birth story so that it's documented and I don't forget it. I've been working on this for over a week now (I rarely have more than one hand free at a time--do you know how hard it is it type with only one hand?). It's super lengthy, but I didn't want to leave anything out!

The morning of Thursday, January 3rd, Sterling and I went and saw my doctor. I was 40 weeks and 3 days. My cervix was not changing, and my blood pressure was continuously rising. I had been getting bad headaches all week to go along with it. My doctor sent us to the hospital for a non-stress test and told me we could check into the hospital that night at 6 to get Cervidil put in to start thinning and dilating me. He said after spending the night on Cervidil, I'd start Pitocin in the morning and that would hopefully give me a baby. He said I was still a high risk for a c-section, but this baby needed to start making her way out and she wasn't looking to be doing it on her own.

I had been against inductions from the start. I wanted as natural of a birth as possible. But that seemed less and less possible as time went on. So after talking it over quite a bit, we decided to agree to the doctor's plan and headed to the hospital that night to start my Cervidil.

We got there a little after 6pm. The Cervidil was put in at 7pm, and the nurse said that I'd probably start to feel some mild cramping in a couple of hours, but it shouldn't be anything bad. An hour later, I was having constant, intense contractions. So we went through the night without getting any sleep because I was in so much pain. I kept switching between lying in the bed and sitting on the birthing ball every few minutes, thinking the other would be more comfortable, but neither ever were.

Around 3am, my contractions got even more painful, pretty much unbearable, and there was no break between them. We had a new nurse who I was NOT a fan of. The nurse before her was super nice and helpful and told us that if the pain got too intense, I could choose to have the Cervidil taken out for awhile to hopefully ease the contractions a bit. But when it got to the point of me wanting it taken out, we had the mean new nurse and she told me I had no option but leave it in until 7am like originally planned. We called her into the room a few times and I practically begged her for more options because I felt like I was dying, but she just shrugged me off. Then at 6am, a different nurse came in, took one look at the monitor and said "Wow, you're having big contractions every ten seconds. Are you feeling those?!" I told her of course I was, and that they were killing me. She said the Cervidil was hyper-stimulating my uterus, which it was not supposed to be doing, obviously. So she was a lifesaver and took it out a few minutes later.

They told me they'd start me on Pitocin at 7, so I had a little break until then to shower and relax and whatnot. My contractions didn't slow down much though, even being off Cervidil, and I was terrified of what the Pitocin was going to make my contractions feel like, so I asked for an epidural and told the nurses that I didn't want to start the pit until after I got the epidural. They said okay and that my doctor would be there soon to check in on me and get things rolling. I was completely thinned out at this point but only dilated to about a 2. (BTW, cervical checks KILLED throughout this whole process. Like, unbelievable pain. I don't know if that was because of the hyperstimulation making me super sensitive in that area or what).

7am rolls around and the nurses tell me that the anesthesiologist is in an emergency c-section and wouldn't be there to give me my epidural for a little while. Time passes, my doctor shows up and tells me that we're still waiting on the anesthesiologist and he has a nurse start my Pitocin even though I didn't want to. I was very pissed and not a nice person during this time, because I was in bad bad pain and wanted my freaking epidural and didn't want Pitocin yet and nobody was giving me straight answers. Things got very hectic and confusing for a few minutes where my doctor and a few nurses were rushing around my room, I heard them talking about how we're lying to the anesthesiologist and telling him I was more dilated than I really was (or else he wouldn't give me an epidural), then a tray of instruments gets rolled in. A nice nurse came over and told me that my doctor likes to push medical interventions and was going to want to insert a monitor into my uterus and a probe into the baby's head to monitor her heart rate, and that if I didn't want these things, make sure I speak up and am adamant about it to the doctor.

So when the doctor walked back into the room, I told him I didn't want the probe in the baby's head. He basically just told me something along the lines of "Well, it's important so we need to do it." (I was NOT happy with the way he handled this situation, but it did end up being good that we used the probe, so I will admit I'm happy we did so). Then I saw him pick up some tool off the table and I asked him what he was doing. He said "Breaking your water." then he promptly reached in and did so. I was again not happy at all about this, because I had NO idea that this was part of the plan whatsoever. Then he inserted the probe and other internal monitor, which was an incredibly painful thing. I was sobbing and begging him to stop. This was a pretty traumatic part of the whole thing, and I pretty much lost all respect for my doctor during these few minutes of breaking the water and inserting the monitors. He was super aggressive and didn't care to explain anything to me. It was all pretty awful.

Anyway, I still hadn't gotten my epidural, my contractions were super painful, and I was pretty traumatized. My face and hands went numb and tingly, so we told a nurse and she said I was hyperventilating. They put me on oxygen, which makes things feel even scarier than they already are. The nurses kept offering me IV meds for the pain until I got the epi, but I kept refusing because I knew those drugs can pass through to the baby. Eventually they told me I really needed to take a little bit of the meds because I was still hyperventilating from the pain and it was affecting the baby. So I told them I'd take as little as possible, and it helped a little. Shortly after this, I finally got the epidural. It was around 10:30am at this point I think?

After that, things got much better. We were both able to finally relax a little. By around 5pm, my doctor came in and checked me, and I was fully dilated and ready to push. My epidural was starting to wear off, but I figured we were at the end of all this, so I didn't care too much. We got all ready and were super excited that the induction worked (despite all the pain) and were excited to be about to have a baby! And we were happy thinking that we had dodged the c-section that we were at risk for.

I pushed three or four times, and the doctor saw that baby's heart rate was dropping super low when I pushed. He said we needed to take a break for a minute and left the room. While he was gone, Sterling and I were talking about how maybe we should just go with a c-section, because watching her heart rate drop that low was scary. The doctor walked back in and said he thought we needed to go straight to an emergency c-section. We agreed, and I told him my epidural had worn off. The anesthesiologist came back in and upped my epidural. It didn't work. They told me I'd have to have general anesthesia and be put completely under.

So they wheeled me off into the operating room. Sterling wasn't allowed to be in there since I was completely under. They strapped me down, put a mask over my face, and the next thing I remember was waking up in excruciating pain with a bunch of nurses over me. I demanded some painkillers asap. Then I got super nauseous and let me tell you, throwing up right after having a c-section without an epidural to numb the pain is one of the most painful things ever. Yikes. Sterling came in then and showed me pictures of Brynleigh on my camera. Having a baby out in the world who you haven't even met yet is the weirdest thing. They finally brought her out to me and put her on my chest so she could breastfeed. I was pretty loopy and very out of it for awhile and kept falling asleep while holding her (well, I had several nurses holding her on me and helping her eat--it probably would have been awkward having so many strangers prodding at my chest if I was more coherent) which I hated, because I just wanted to enjoy my first moments with my baby.

After a little while, I was finally a little less loopy and we got to go into our room and enjoy our new little bundle of cuteness. And that's about it for the birth story! It was definitely the furthest from ideal birthing experience (I hated it, to be honest), but in the end we got a healthy, beautiful little girl and that is all that matters. Brynleigh is the sweetest thing and we love her so very much!!

Daddy meeting Brynleigh <3

Brand new!

My first or one of my first times holding her (thank you, drugs). Notice the saltine cracker and blue barf bag...rough times.

Taking a nap on Grandma.

Takin' a snooze with Daddy on our first day home.

Our first family picture. Brynleigh wasn't digging it.

Us today! Almost 3 weeks old.

This face cracks me up everytime.

Melts my heart!

Christmas & no baby

I was really hoping to not blog again until I had a baby here with me, but that's just not happening.

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday (Wednesday). My cervix is still unchanged. Like, it's doing absolutely nothing. My doctor is now gone on vacation and will be back next Thursday, the 3rd. So he's having me come in early Thursday morning and suggests we just schedule a c-section because he really just doesn't think my body is going to go into labor on it's own. Baby dropped weeks ago, but her head isn't far enough down to be dilating me, so I'm just at a standstill, making no progress whatsoever.

He says I can choose to try to be induced first, but unless my cervix suddenly becomes favorable, the induction will most likely fail and I'll end up with a c-section anyway. I'm really torn about the whole thing, because I feel like I should just wait it out and my body has got to eventually go into labor on it's own, right? But if it doesn't, or if it starts to but stops dilating during labor, I'll just end up with a c-section anyway, and I'd much rather have one sooner than later so that Sterling has more time with me and Brynleigh before he has to go back to work on the 7th.

I just really wish she would surprise us all and show up in these next few days on her own. But it seems that there's a very slim slim chance of that happening.

Anyway, on to other things! Christmas! My doctor didn't want me traveling, so on Saturday Sterling's whole family came to our apartment and we had a Christmas party here. We had a lot of fun and it was good to see everyone. Christmas Eve I made a big dinner then Sterling & I went to the Lutheran church's candlelight service at nighttime. Then we came home and got into our traditional new pj's (picture to follow:). Christmas Day we just slept in then opened our presents. I got a new laptop! I needed one SO bad. My old one was like 4 years old and overheated constantly. So now I have a nice new one! I got a lot of other goodies, too. Sterling spoiled me. He got a Leatherman and some silver and the Dark Knight and some other fun things. Brynleigh got a few cute outfits, too :)

Then we went down to Pocatello for Chinese food, like they do in A Christmas Story (aka Sterling's favorite movie). It was a nice, relaxing Christmas. It was a little weird to not be with family for it, but it was also pretty nice to just enjoy it together.

Anyway, here is our PJ picture! Mine were some wonderful fleecy leopard ones, and Sterling got A Christmas Story ones. P.S.: Ralphie is exactly what I picture Sterling to have been like as a kid, so I just crack up all throughout the movie.

Yes, I'm huge.

39 weeks.

I'm 39 weeks. And I'm still pregnant. I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever. I feel great, much too good for someone who should be popping out a baby anytime now. Thus, I am brought to the conclusion that labor is nowhere near.

My cervix is 'unfavorable'. Cool.

On Friday at my appointment, my blood pressure was high, so my doctor told us to come to the hospital Saturday morning for a non-stress test. He said that if they found something wrong on the test, they'd probably have to induce me. If everything was fine, he just wants to see me on Wednesday, when he'll check my cervix again and if I'm 'favorable' then I'd have the option to be induced then. Otherwise, he's going out of town after that until the new year, so if I went into labor while he's gone, some random doctor would deliver me. But if I'm still pregnant when he gets back (which he thinks I will be), he'd likely want to induce me in the first few days of January.

So we told ourselves that the test would probably go perfectly fine and we tried to really not get our hopes up that we'd be having a baby on Saturday. We packed all our bags, loaded the car with the carseat and my bouncing ball, and headed to the hospital Saturday morning. Of course, the NST went perfectly fine, no problems there. And we were sent home. With no baby. And we were disappointed and sad.

Now, I do not want to be induced. Induction usually makes your contractions much more painful than they'd naturally be, and since I want a drug-free birth, it would make that really hard. Plus, being induced (especially when your cervix is nowhere near ready) majorly increases your risk of having a c-section, which is my biggest fear. In general, what I want most out of this birth is that it is as natural as possible, so really, an induction is the complete opposite of my desired birth plan.

BUT, when someone is offering you the chance to meet your baby, that is really really tempting. So not having to be induced on Saturday actually turned out to be quite a let-down, even if I know I really don't want to be induced. And if I'm offered an induction on Wednesday, I don't know what I will do. I hope I can stick to my goals, but it will be really hard to turn down the opportunity to meet this little girl. We are so so super excited for her to be here.

That's about it for the pregnancy update. Be praying that there's a baby here in time for my next update!

Full Term!

As of this past Monday, I am officially full term! Not that that means much to Brynleigh, though. She's apparently perfectly content staying in my tummy until January. When I was at my doctor appointment last week, my cervix was "thick and closed". Meaning, she ain't tryin' to get out of there anytime soon. I go back tomorrow and I am PRAYING it's changed. Even just a little bit, I would be ecstatic. 

Everything is going well, just lots of aches and pains. My back and stomach are constantly hurting. I get a new form of pain daily and I excitedly google it (you should really see how many times a day I google something hoping it's a labor sign) and think that maybe it was a real contraction. But they never turn out to be, because here I am, super pregnant still.

I bought an exercise ball today to bounce on at home to get her moving down lower in my pelvis & help dilate me. I bought the one for short people (short ADULTS, it says, I should clarify), since I'm barely 5'2. I get it home, exhaust myself trying to blow it up, then sit on it only to have my knees practically at chest level. Uh, yeah, that's not gonna work. It's like a toddler-sized ball. I'm angry. Hopefully Walmart will let me exchange it, even though I already tore the package apart and got my slobber all over while blowing it up (because the foot pump it comes with is garbage, by the way).

While in Walmart, a lady was telling me some 'cute' story about a baby who was born at Mountain View yesterday at 12:12pm on 12/12/12 without being induced or a c-section or anything. Instead of thinking it was a cool story, I was just pissed off the entire time she was telling me it because the stinkin' woman wasn't due until December 30th. And she already has her baby. Grr.

I really am a nice, happy person, I swear. I'm not grumpy all the time. I just need a little time daily to moan about how I'm still pregnant. And yes, I'm perfectly aware that I'm not even due for more than two weeks. I shouldn't be complaining yet. Let's all just hope I don't go over my due date. Oh man.

Anyway, here's a picture from today.

 

Oh, Sterling and I went to a childbirth class last Saturday. I think Sterling learned a lot. Maybe more than he wanted to. But now we're totally prepared. You know, in case Bryn was waiting on that. I'm not quite sure what else she'd be waiting on now.

Ready.

Over the weekend, I decided to get my bag ready for the hospital (you know, because I was convinced labor was imminent).

I couldn't find my silky leopard print pajama top anywhere. They're super comfy and button down the front (for nursing) and they were the only pj's I wanted to take.

So I tore apart our apartment and couldn't find the top anywhere.

Then I called my mom and had her tear apart their house in California for it. Three different times. I kept thinking of different places it could be and told her to go search again.

Guess what? Totally found it today, tucked away in my cedar hope chest with all my winter clothes that don't fit over this pregnant belly.

Okay, NOW I'm ready to have this baby. The Labor Gods were just waiting for me to find it, right? Contractions, you can start any minute. Bring it on.

36 weeks

Today, I am 36 weeks pregnant.

I'm big and uncomfortable and getting crankier each day.

For awhile now, I've been feeling like Brynleigh is going to come early. A few days ago, I was convinced I was about to go into labor. After a couple of days of nothing, I decided that I just need to get used to the fact that I'm likely going to be pregnant until January. Watch me go until 42 weeks. So here I am going to be, watching for signs of labor every single day for the next six weeks. See, this is why I'm cranky. This is the hardest part of my pregnancy. I think all the morning sickness of my first 16 weeks was easier to deal with than this waiting game. Ugh.

Anyway, so I'm 36 weeks. One more week until full term. Four more until my due date. My lower back is hurting me everyday, I can never get comfy, I wake up 3-5 times every night to pee, Bryn has dropped, I've gained about 22 pounds altogether, still no stretch marks or swelling (and it better not start now), and I. Am. Ready.

Our nursery is entirely ready, as of today. Her changing table came today and I built it all by myself. Honestly? I was secretly hoping that all the exertion of struggling to put that thing together would send me into labor. No such luck.

I know, I know, she'll come when she's good and ready and that'll be what's best for her. But dang, I am not a patient person. I want my baby here. We are ready.

I guess I should want her to wait to come until after I finish all my schoolwork for this semester. I still have an 8 page research paper, five finals, and four other smaller papers to write until I can be done. Stinkin' school.

Anyway, there's the update. Cross your fingers that the next update will be a birth story. Wishful thinking, I know.

Half of the nursery. I need to do some decorating still, but we've got everything we need. PS: I love my glider.