Irrational.

Fact: I just took the most paranoid shower of my life. I'm pretty paranoid in general tonight, actually.

The parents of the kids I babysit are both out of town, so I'm staying with the kids all weekend long. The kids go to bed at 7:30pm. I don't. So the remainder of hours are spent with me being startled by every single little noise, checking to make sure all four doors are locked every 20 minutes, and darting around, being sure to check behind me when I walk and fully scope out every room I enter. And my shower? Uh, yeah...it was spent wiping the steam off of the shower door every five seconds so that I could keep an eye on the (locked) door, making sure no burglar or murderer or whatever snuck in. I even convinced myself that the pizza delivery guy must have known that it's just me here, so he's going to break in and kidnap me or kill me or whatever things bad people do.

Sterling is supposed to come keep me company for awhile, but he's playing Settlers of Catan at a friends house, and it's taking forever. And I know I shouldn't be, but I'm getting pretty angry. Shouldn't he be protecting me? Or, if nothing else, protecting my sanity?

I'm not good at this alone thing. At least, not alone in other peoples big houses. I'm perfectly fine in my own apartment usually, because it's inside a building and has more than one little lock on the door, and it's on the second floor, so I'm not worried about looking out the window to see someone staring back at me. Oh gosh, that terrifies me.

Yes, I know I'm being ridiculous. But it's really hard to stop.

So in the meantime, I'm going to lay in  bed, continuing to jump at every noise and being mad at my fiance.