Christmas & no baby

I was really hoping to not blog again until I had a baby here with me, but that's just not happening.

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday (Wednesday). My cervix is still unchanged. Like, it's doing absolutely nothing. My doctor is now gone on vacation and will be back next Thursday, the 3rd. So he's having me come in early Thursday morning and suggests we just schedule a c-section because he really just doesn't think my body is going to go into labor on it's own. Baby dropped weeks ago, but her head isn't far enough down to be dilating me, so I'm just at a standstill, making no progress whatsoever.

He says I can choose to try to be induced first, but unless my cervix suddenly becomes favorable, the induction will most likely fail and I'll end up with a c-section anyway. I'm really torn about the whole thing, because I feel like I should just wait it out and my body has got to eventually go into labor on it's own, right? But if it doesn't, or if it starts to but stops dilating during labor, I'll just end up with a c-section anyway, and I'd much rather have one sooner than later so that Sterling has more time with me and Brynleigh before he has to go back to work on the 7th.

I just really wish she would surprise us all and show up in these next few days on her own. But it seems that there's a very slim slim chance of that happening.

Anyway, on to other things! Christmas! My doctor didn't want me traveling, so on Saturday Sterling's whole family came to our apartment and we had a Christmas party here. We had a lot of fun and it was good to see everyone. Christmas Eve I made a big dinner then Sterling & I went to the Lutheran church's candlelight service at nighttime. Then we came home and got into our traditional new pj's (picture to follow:). Christmas Day we just slept in then opened our presents. I got a new laptop! I needed one SO bad. My old one was like 4 years old and overheated constantly. So now I have a nice new one! I got a lot of other goodies, too. Sterling spoiled me. He got a Leatherman and some silver and the Dark Knight and some other fun things. Brynleigh got a few cute outfits, too :)

Then we went down to Pocatello for Chinese food, like they do in A Christmas Story (aka Sterling's favorite movie). It was a nice, relaxing Christmas. It was a little weird to not be with family for it, but it was also pretty nice to just enjoy it together.

Anyway, here is our PJ picture! Mine were some wonderful fleecy leopard ones, and Sterling got A Christmas Story ones. P.S.: Ralphie is exactly what I picture Sterling to have been like as a kid, so I just crack up all throughout the movie.

Yes, I'm huge.

39 weeks.

I'm 39 weeks. And I'm still pregnant. I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever. I feel great, much too good for someone who should be popping out a baby anytime now. Thus, I am brought to the conclusion that labor is nowhere near.

My cervix is 'unfavorable'. Cool.

On Friday at my appointment, my blood pressure was high, so my doctor told us to come to the hospital Saturday morning for a non-stress test. He said that if they found something wrong on the test, they'd probably have to induce me. If everything was fine, he just wants to see me on Wednesday, when he'll check my cervix again and if I'm 'favorable' then I'd have the option to be induced then. Otherwise, he's going out of town after that until the new year, so if I went into labor while he's gone, some random doctor would deliver me. But if I'm still pregnant when he gets back (which he thinks I will be), he'd likely want to induce me in the first few days of January.

So we told ourselves that the test would probably go perfectly fine and we tried to really not get our hopes up that we'd be having a baby on Saturday. We packed all our bags, loaded the car with the carseat and my bouncing ball, and headed to the hospital Saturday morning. Of course, the NST went perfectly fine, no problems there. And we were sent home. With no baby. And we were disappointed and sad.

Now, I do not want to be induced. Induction usually makes your contractions much more painful than they'd naturally be, and since I want a drug-free birth, it would make that really hard. Plus, being induced (especially when your cervix is nowhere near ready) majorly increases your risk of having a c-section, which is my biggest fear. In general, what I want most out of this birth is that it is as natural as possible, so really, an induction is the complete opposite of my desired birth plan.

BUT, when someone is offering you the chance to meet your baby, that is really really tempting. So not having to be induced on Saturday actually turned out to be quite a let-down, even if I know I really don't want to be induced. And if I'm offered an induction on Wednesday, I don't know what I will do. I hope I can stick to my goals, but it will be really hard to turn down the opportunity to meet this little girl. We are so so super excited for her to be here.

That's about it for the pregnancy update. Be praying that there's a baby here in time for my next update!

Full Term!

As of this past Monday, I am officially full term! Not that that means much to Brynleigh, though. She's apparently perfectly content staying in my tummy until January. When I was at my doctor appointment last week, my cervix was "thick and closed". Meaning, she ain't tryin' to get out of there anytime soon. I go back tomorrow and I am PRAYING it's changed. Even just a little bit, I would be ecstatic. 

Everything is going well, just lots of aches and pains. My back and stomach are constantly hurting. I get a new form of pain daily and I excitedly google it (you should really see how many times a day I google something hoping it's a labor sign) and think that maybe it was a real contraction. But they never turn out to be, because here I am, super pregnant still.

I bought an exercise ball today to bounce on at home to get her moving down lower in my pelvis & help dilate me. I bought the one for short people (short ADULTS, it says, I should clarify), since I'm barely 5'2. I get it home, exhaust myself trying to blow it up, then sit on it only to have my knees practically at chest level. Uh, yeah, that's not gonna work. It's like a toddler-sized ball. I'm angry. Hopefully Walmart will let me exchange it, even though I already tore the package apart and got my slobber all over while blowing it up (because the foot pump it comes with is garbage, by the way).

While in Walmart, a lady was telling me some 'cute' story about a baby who was born at Mountain View yesterday at 12:12pm on 12/12/12 without being induced or a c-section or anything. Instead of thinking it was a cool story, I was just pissed off the entire time she was telling me it because the stinkin' woman wasn't due until December 30th. And she already has her baby. Grr.

I really am a nice, happy person, I swear. I'm not grumpy all the time. I just need a little time daily to moan about how I'm still pregnant. And yes, I'm perfectly aware that I'm not even due for more than two weeks. I shouldn't be complaining yet. Let's all just hope I don't go over my due date. Oh man.

Anyway, here's a picture from today.

 

Oh, Sterling and I went to a childbirth class last Saturday. I think Sterling learned a lot. Maybe more than he wanted to. But now we're totally prepared. You know, in case Bryn was waiting on that. I'm not quite sure what else she'd be waiting on now.

Ready.

Over the weekend, I decided to get my bag ready for the hospital (you know, because I was convinced labor was imminent).

I couldn't find my silky leopard print pajama top anywhere. They're super comfy and button down the front (for nursing) and they were the only pj's I wanted to take.

So I tore apart our apartment and couldn't find the top anywhere.

Then I called my mom and had her tear apart their house in California for it. Three different times. I kept thinking of different places it could be and told her to go search again.

Guess what? Totally found it today, tucked away in my cedar hope chest with all my winter clothes that don't fit over this pregnant belly.

Okay, NOW I'm ready to have this baby. The Labor Gods were just waiting for me to find it, right? Contractions, you can start any minute. Bring it on.

36 weeks

Today, I am 36 weeks pregnant.

I'm big and uncomfortable and getting crankier each day.

For awhile now, I've been feeling like Brynleigh is going to come early. A few days ago, I was convinced I was about to go into labor. After a couple of days of nothing, I decided that I just need to get used to the fact that I'm likely going to be pregnant until January. Watch me go until 42 weeks. So here I am going to be, watching for signs of labor every single day for the next six weeks. See, this is why I'm cranky. This is the hardest part of my pregnancy. I think all the morning sickness of my first 16 weeks was easier to deal with than this waiting game. Ugh.

Anyway, so I'm 36 weeks. One more week until full term. Four more until my due date. My lower back is hurting me everyday, I can never get comfy, I wake up 3-5 times every night to pee, Bryn has dropped, I've gained about 22 pounds altogether, still no stretch marks or swelling (and it better not start now), and I. Am. Ready.

Our nursery is entirely ready, as of today. Her changing table came today and I built it all by myself. Honestly? I was secretly hoping that all the exertion of struggling to put that thing together would send me into labor. No such luck.

I know, I know, she'll come when she's good and ready and that'll be what's best for her. But dang, I am not a patient person. I want my baby here. We are ready.

I guess I should want her to wait to come until after I finish all my schoolwork for this semester. I still have an 8 page research paper, five finals, and four other smaller papers to write until I can be done. Stinkin' school.

Anyway, there's the update. Cross your fingers that the next update will be a birth story. Wishful thinking, I know.

Half of the nursery. I need to do some decorating still, but we've got everything we need. PS: I love my glider.