Tuesday, August 30, 2011

So...can I start drinking Diet Coke again then...?

I have high blood pressure. Like, way too high for an otherwise healthy 20 year old with no risk factors for high blood pressure. My doctors have no clue why I do. Well, one thinks she does, but I beg to differ. She basically told me I was a frazzled, broken mess and all I needed to do to lower my BP was to sit in a corner and use a prayer box. I needed to find God and quit being an emotional mess. She made me cry in her office. My mom was furious with the woman. I love my mom.

Anyway, here I am a year later and guess what? I found God! Yup. I go to church every Sunday and I read scriptures and I pray (without the use of whatever the hell a prayer box is, thankyouverymuch). But, um, my blood pressure is higher than it's ever been. Maybe I found the wrong God. Whoops.

I've done everything humanly possible it seems to take care of this issue of mine. I've gone to multiple doctors, had tests and bloodwork and ultrasounds, but still nothing. My faulty kidneys are not the culprit. Neither are the coffee, artificial sweeteners, sodium, or caffeine that I've cut out of my diet. It's not genetic. I have no clue.

So in the meantime, I get to listen to stories from my grandma about So-and-so who also had mysterious BP issues, and she had multiple miscarriages and live-births and well, her life is kind of miserable and depressing.

Anyway, my only conclusion is that I'm really this uber-anxious stressed out little bundled up ball of nerves and I'm so used to being that way that I can't even tell when I'm stressed. I just have a constant level of stress. I just said 'stress' waaay too many times in that sentence. I think my body hides things from myself. On second thought, I don't think I'm capable of being that complex.

I know this was a mess of rambling about nothing significant. I apologize.

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