Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The temptations of the adversary cannot overpower those who hearken unto the word of God. 
1 Ne. 15:24

Ever since I even started to think of getting baptized, I constantly am told how the adversary will try harder and harder to lead me away from doing so. I have never believed it more than during these last few days.

I've been so sure since the beginning that I wanted to be baptized. It never really was even a question for me, I just knew I wanted it so I've been going about the process of becoming LDS without really even a second though. It just felt good and natural, and right.

Then I set the date for my baptism. Next Saturday, the 2nd. And ever since, things have just been crazy. I've had so much opposition, and I feel like I'm constantly struggling to defend myself and what I'm doing. And for the first time, I started to doubt myself and what I decided to do.

I mean, how could I not? When the people who have known me for most or all of my life are doubting me, it's hard to ignore them entirely. I can only be stubborn for so long before I start breaking down and considering what is being said against me.

I nearly decided to not get baptized yet last night. I felt like I needed to wait and figure things out and really decide if it was the right thing. It was a pretty messy night, to say the least. I've had these periodic breakdowns the last couple of months concerning this issue, which is expected, but the last week or so everything has just snowballed into a giant struggle.

At the end, though, I decided to go through with my baptism. I realized I need to remember and focus on how I felt and though before I started hearing all these other opinions. I realized that's how I feel about it, and what I want to do. That hasn't changed. How I feel hasn't changed. What's right hasn't changed.

Honestly, I've just come to have even more faith than I did before, because I've felt the adversary working away at weakening me. I'm seeing truths of the church happen right before my eyes. Nothing has changed.   

Come ye and let us walk in the light of the Lord. 2 Ne. 12:5

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