Tuesday, April 17, 2012


This morning at 7am, the crazy guy who lives below us started slamming doors and running around in the yard yelling things like "F*** YOU SELENA!" and "SELENA!!! WHERE THE F*** ARE YOU?!" and my personal favorite, "SELENA! GET IN HERE! LOOK, I'M CLOSING THE DOOR! I'M F***ING CLOSING IT!"

The guy has some serious anger issues, if you didn't guess. He has these crazy tantrums pretty much everyday. Like, scary, insane, ridiculous, bipolar tantrums. Last week, during a rampage, he went out to his car and started searching like a mad man in his trunk, wildly cursing the entire time. A couple old ladies walked past, and you could tell they were probably scared out of their mind.

The vast majority of the time, his rampages are directed toward this 'Selena'. He's always yelling and cursing at her. You'd think he must be in a bad relationship, and that this Selena is his girlfriend, right?

A couple of weeks ago, during an afternoon tantrum, I hear him out in the yard, yelling at 'Selena'. I went to the window and watched him. There was no girl around anywhere, yet he was still screaming at Selena. Then I saw a scraggly cat approaching.

Yeuuupp....Selena is a cat. He has screaming fights with his cat.

I. Can't. Friggin'. Wait. To. Move.

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