The one I wish I wasn't writing.

October has been a roller coaster month. A super emotional month. There were highs, but we'll talk about those another time.

I've been debating writing this post for the last week or so. Part of me doesn't want to address it publicly at all. But part of me wants to have an outlet, and since not many people read this blog, it feels most appropriate. 

Earlier this month, my dad spent a week in the hospital.

Long story short, a couple of days after he was released from the hospital, my parents called to tell me he was diagnosed with stage-3 lung cancer.

Sterling and I (and Brynleigh, who caught her first ever sickness on the 11 hour drive there) drove down to California a few days later, and my sister flew home, too, so that we'd all be there as my dad started radiation. He had his first round of chemo a few days ago. He seems to be doing really good so far.

I don't really know what else to say about it. I don't really know what to do or how to feel. Right now, I know that it's not benefiting anyone for me to be a mess, so I don't think about the reality of it much. I mean, I know the reality, I'd just rather go a day at a time for now.



“Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day” (Alma 36:3).

Lucky.

It's Saturday night.

I forgot that it was until my Facebook newsfeed was filled with pictures of California friends all dressed up & out at the bars and clubs, like it is every Friday and Saturday night. And let's be honest, pretty much every night of the week. Y'all sure like to party.

I'm sitting on my couch, baby asleep & husband at work still, in my fleecy leopard pajamas, eating mint chip ice cream and watching General Conference on the DVR, continually rewinding to re-listen to parts of talks I didn't fully absorb the first time around.

Sometimes I'm stunned when I think about where my life is at now. I don't know how this happened, but I know why.

And it's the happiest I've ever been.

And it just keeps getting better.

I don't know how I got so lucky.